Listen Up...
Feb 21, 2022
What’s the hardest part about building meaningful relationships, in our personal and professional lives?
Actually listening to each other.
My husband and I were traveling to Marfa, Texas this fall when I stumbled upon this sign. Here are some reasons why the STOP sign metaphorically resonated with me.
Listening intentionally requires that I refrain from talking.
I learned recently that this problem stems from the fact that we think much faster than we speak. Most Americans speak at a rate of 125 words per minute. As a speaker's words enter our brain slowly, we continue to think quickly (the human brain can process about 800 words per minute). Thus, we have ample time to absorb the words we hear and think of other things at the same time.
Unless we make a conscious effort to continue listening, our thoughts tend to take over, as we miss what’s really being said.
4 Quick Tips to Listening Intentionally:
- Maintain eye contact
- Try not to interrupt. Allow the other person to finish speaking before you respond. I have high Ideation, so my wheels sometimes spin while others are talking. I’ve had to learn to consciously focus on listening- I’m working on it!
- Don’t be a fixer. If the other person expresses negative emotions, avoid trying to fix unless he or she specifically asks. I have found letting the person go through their feelings and not try to stop the feeling helps. Also asking the question – “do you want me to listen or do you want me to help you solve?” is a great way to clarify when someone is sharing their situation.
- Practice empathy. Psychologist Carl Rogers described empathy as “seeing the world through the eyes of the other, not seeing your world reflected in their eyes.” To be truly empathetic and understand another person’s perspective, feelings, and motivations, you have to be curious.
Cheering you on,
-Dana Williams
Gallup-Certified CliftonStrengths Coach
- Listen to our Dominate Your Day podcast via Apple Podcasts or Spotify
- Get on the waiting list for our six week live coaching bootcamp “Transform your Life from the Inside Out” www.strengthsonpurpose.com
- Join us on Clubhouse at Dominate Your Day every Thursday at 11am CT to talk CliftonStrengths
- The Strengths Journal can help you plan your days with purpose and intention.
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